


5 times John Saw Mary and the Time he Realised she Really Wasn't There

by 1PB2PB3PB4



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Episode Related, Gen, Kinda, inbetween episodes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 02:50:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9300800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1PB2PB3PB4/pseuds/1PB2PB3PB4
Summary: As the title says, set mainly in between episodes one and two with fake Ghostey Mary."You're dead." He tells her firmly. "You died. I saw""So did Sherlock."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Don't own.  
> Spoilers for episode 2 season 4 if you haven't seen it yet  
> The second episode was really good wasn't it? Almost makes up for the wait

1.) The first time he sees Mary he jerks back in suprise. She's dead he _knows _she is. He had his hands on her pulse as it stopped and her lifeblood on his hands. He closes his eyes and when he opens them again she's gone. He writes it off as simply projecting what he wants to see.__

__2.) The second time he sees her he's just stumbled out of bed to make a bottle for Rosie. She's leaning on the kitchen counter and giving him a wry smile, looking just like she always did when he'd stumble down to their kitchen, half asleep, dressed in pajamas to make breakfast. She'd always liked how he looked in the morning. She blocking the dishwasher and she moves after he hesitates for a minute, realising the issue. As he leaves with a fresh bottle he decides that twice is just a coincedince. It has to happen three times before it's a problem right? Right?_ _

__3.)The third time she speaks to him. He's put Rosie to bed and has gone into the lounge with the intention watching the Rugby on the Telly. As he skims over the trashy reality shows, which remind him of Sherlock and their flatting days, before Sherlock fell and Mary-. He quickly selects the sports channel not wanting to linger any longer on the thought of his (former?) ex?-bestfriend who he's not quite ready to face yet. Anyway, he wants Sherlock to apologise first. It's then that he sees her splayed out on the couch. This shouldn't be happening. She is _dead _. Three times makes this a thing, oh god. Maybe he should actually talk to his therapist instead of fobbing her off and-  
"It's alright John," she says with a laugh, "calm down. I can hear you thinking from here. Unsuprisingly."  
"You're dead." He tells her firmly. "You died. I saw. I..."  
Her reply is not without a tinge of irony, "so did Sherlock, and you "saw" that too."  
Needless to say John doesn't actually watch the rest of the rugby.___ _

____4.) He decides it's best if Mrs Hudson, or Molly, or someone- not _him _looks after Rosie. He has been considering if maybe he wasn't suitable to look after Rosie for some time. He hasn't been sleeping because Mary has been keeping him up talking to him. The final straw is when he realises that he forgot to feed Rosie because Mary told him she'd do it. He finds someone else to look after Rosie during the week, then he tells Mary she's not real. She gives an apologetic shrug,  
"Aren't I? Okay, yeah I'm not. God Sherlock was right about you being an idiot. He would have figured it out from the get-go."  
If Mary's not real, then she's just in his head and he doesn't want to think about why she says what she says. Instead he fixes on the fact that, yes. Sherlock would have figured it out straight away. He tells Molly that he doesn't want Sherlock anywhere near him or Rosie. Or Mary. He killed the first one, he doesn't want the detective driving this one away too.___ _ _ _

______5.)He changes therapist. He decides he needs help and he's too used to lying to his current one to stop now. He wants someone to tell him the truth, to stop being so sympathetic and understanding, because it is _not _okay for him to be letting Rosie down or for him to be doing several other things he shouldn't be, but everyone is acting like it's _fine _he isn't coping. He wants to understand why he's seeing Mary if she is dead- how to stop. But more importantly he wants to know, if she's dead, and just in his head, how and why she says the things she does. He never brings it up though, Mary tells him that he can't tell, and he easily agrees. He can't help but think how Sherlock would see straight through him instantly. His friend would probably be quite a good therapist if he could dust off his social skills and pill his head out of his arse. He'd be able to tell what was troubling people at any rate. He doesn't want to see him though. Sherlock sees too damn much for his own good._____ _ _ _ _ _

__________+1.) Telling Mary that he cheated on her is remarkably de-stressing. It also confirms what he's know for a while now that she is dead. He doesn't think Mary would let him get off that lightly, but he would have liked her to. Sherlock's been shooting glances at the place where Mary, the image of her, the empty air was standing, obviously put it all together. Because John Warson is many things, but he knows being able to outwith Sherlock Holmes is not one of them. As leaving the flat, Sherlock putting on the deerstalker for Mary, John breathes out. Sherlock isn't seeing Mary too, at least not the same one. It puts things into perspective though. Just because Mary is dead it doesn't mean her Memory has to be too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
